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    Walt Shakes

    Walter Ude (@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter. He blogs at mymindsnaps.wordpress.com.

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Quick Question: Do You Have To Behave A Certain Way When You Become A Mom?

zThis past week, Kim Kardashian shared with her Instagram followers a donkalicious photo of herself. While fans and boyfriend Kanye approved, some looked at her photo with disdain. I heard some people tag her “look-back-at-it” selfie as “tacky and narcissistic.” Others noted her reputation with men and how she will never be wife material for Kanye West because of her attention-seeking antics. Most importantly, many who commented stated that her photo was not “mommy-like.”

As people continuously speak on what a mother should be or look like, it makes me wonder, where did we get these rules from?Through social media and television, we have come to know Kim as a media-opportunist. During the latest season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, she claimed that as soon as she delivered Baby North, she would love to pose for Playboy magazine again. The Huffington Post reports:

“Kardashian’s insecurity about losing her sex appeal and cool factor during her pregnancy is something that has been explored this season on the show. In earlier episodes, Kardashian was seemingly obsessed with her teenage sister Kylie Jenner’s opinion on everything, and was on a quest to appear on her Tumblr as a sign that she was still cool.”

Although people may feel Kim K. has a marketed personality, her insecurity runs rampant in everyone. Maturity means losing parts of yourself that you have grown accustomed to. During her pregnancy, Kim did not receive the friendliest feedback regarding her body size or fashion. Unlike the average woman who has given birth, Kim’s transition into motherhood was not only personal but also extremely public. As one of Hollywood’s ‘sex symbols’, she’s trying to figure out how to walk the line between being who folks know her to be, and developing into North West’s mother.

As people question her maternal instincts and what she should and shouldn’t be doing as a new mom, be reminded of Toni Braxton, who has two sons, contemplating if she too, should pose for Playboy during the second season of Braxton Family Values. And during interviews, mother and actress Paula Patton consistently discusses her sex life with husband Robin Thicke, even sharing how big his package is. Surprisingly enough, these women along with others have not been talked about as ladies missing the maternal gene. Or perhaps, there is no special gene that sets ‘real mothers’ apart? Perhaps, being a ‘good’ mom should depend on how a woman chooses to develop herself, if she’s there for her child, nurturing the child (or children) and making sacrifices. Does one photo really have an impact on that? If you ask me, there’s not one way to be or act when you’re a mother, just as there isn’t one right or wrong way to be a woman.

What are your thoughts? I know it’s a stretch 🙂 but would you give Kim Kardashian the Mom of the Year award?

Leave a comment


  1. In my opinion, we’re getting a lot of things twisted here.

    First of all, there is a woman’s sexuality and her image of herself and what others think about her.

    And then, there is a child and the fact that she is someone’s mother.

    I am of the opinion that becoming a mother is not necessarily losing your sex appeal or confidence or anything like that. BUt there is the fact that once you have a child, I dont care what you think but your life has IRREVOCABLY changes and, no your life is no longer ‘about’ you. Sorry but here it is. Aint no going back once you get a kid.

    My issue with some of these women is that in their semi (or in K.Kardashian’s case, full) desperation to appear sexy, xool and all that, they seem to bring up their self esteem first without thinking that they are examples, nurturers and protectors of their children. If all you are is about sex then what do you want your kid to see and think? If your life is about posting up side-boob and butt pictures then, in 15 years, what will you have to say to the daughter who wishes to do the same or worse?

    Please. You can have your ‘sexy-back-mama’ thing without going to extremes, abeg. And it is very, very evident that most of these media Moms are just extremely thirsty for validation- proving that they are sexy.

    I disagree on your ‘no right or wrong way to be a mother’. ust ask the millions of people who struggle from mental trauma from childhood. Go to prisons. Ask people who suffer from various complexes, misconceptions and general mess ups that could have been avoided if their mothers had their acts together. Heck, sorry but the Kim K sef…how far with her own mother?

    Issorait. Kim, Paula and the rest of y’all- you are fine, sexy, beautiful and whatever. Yeesh. Moving on, please.

  2. Aida

     /  October 19, 2013

    Your right…..its a “stretch”

  3. john

     /  October 20, 2013

    HeLl yeah… Wish she’s my baby mama

  4. Madison

     /  October 22, 2013

    Hi, Nice funny read thanks for sharing. Would you please consider adding a guest post from me on your site? Please email me back.


    maddie0147 at gmail.com

  5. mana

     /  October 22, 2013

    Hey guys, is sm1 seein wot am seein or is it just me, isnt her belly supposd 2 be protrudn or protruded or is the so called pregnancy a scam just like dat of beyonce (I talk anytn?) Sm1 hlp me here…

    • Nawa oh. So уσυ’яє still in tнє school of thought tнaт Kim wasn’t really pregnant? After all tнιѕ time? Seriously? Or aяє уσυ tнє only one who doesn’t know tнє dedication aηd speed celebrities put on losing baby weight after pregnancy?

      • mana

         /  October 25, 2013

        Dnt blame me, pls try 2 chek out ‘Mark Dice’s’ blog (search fr Beyonce’s pregnancy uncover), der I saw a cloz investigation of what Bey cald ‘her pregnancy’, dats y I just chipd in dat comment, wel I’m not saying Kim k was neva pregnant, its just dat wit dis H. wood’s celebs U̶̲̥̅̊ just can neva tel..

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