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    Walt Shakes

    Walter Ude (@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter. He blogs at mymindsnaps.wordpress.com.

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Celeb Winners and Losers of 2013

Some stars will happily be flipping their calendars to 2014. Others, well, they’ll always have fond memories of that one year when everything seemed to fall into place. Check out our breakdown of the celebs who were winning and those who didn’t fare so well in 2013!092b4fb0-7710-4eef-9e15-4c84b26bfc0d_JenniferLawrence_LamarOdom_121213Winner: Jennifer Lawrence

Too bad J.Law isn’t available to give an acceptance speech for landing a winning spot on this list. Every time she opens her mouth, we fall more in love with her down-to-earth, quirky personality. Lawrence was a winner at the Oscars, too, where she walked away with the Best Actress trophy for last year’s “Silver Linings Playbook.” She also reigned at the box office, where “The Hunger Games: Catching Fire” was, as expected, a behemoth that has taken in more than $740 million globally since opening Nov. 22. Forbes estimated that Lawrence herself earned $26 million between June 2012 and June 2013, which was enough to land her at the No. 2 spot on the magazine’s list of the year’s highest-paid actresses, right behind Angelina Jolie. Not bad for a 23-year-old!

Loser: Lamar Odom
Hard to believe that Odom was on top of the world not too long ago … before rumors swirled that he was cheating on wife Khloé Kardashian, an August DUI charge, a brief stint in rehab, and finally an official split. Khloé filed for divorce in December and she was promptly seen hanging out with L.A. Dodgers outfielder Matt Kemp. Next year has to be better for the former NBA player!

celebs 1Winner: Beyoncé

Queen Bey was fierce throughout 2013, but she practically made the Internet explode in December when she dropped a new album accompanied with music videos for all 17 songs with absolutely no warning. Quite a way to cap off a year that saw Bey perform at President Obama’s second inauguration (although she did face a lip-syncing scandal) and the Super Bowl halftime show, as well as the premiere of her HBO documentary, “Life Is but a Dream.” What can Jay Z’s woman and Blue Ivy’s mama possibly do to top it in 2014? She’s sure to think of something!2c8bd2ba-b90c-4ade-9ad3-26230aa4da03_Brangelina_KrisJenner_121213Winner: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

Just when you thought that the A-list couple had reached the height of their success, they go and have a year like this one. Pitt, who turned 50 in December, had the biggest opening ever for one of his films when “World War Z” debuted with ticket sales of $66.4 million in June, and another of his films, “12 Years a Slave,” tied with “American Hustle” to lead the Golden Globe nominations. As for Angie, most of her acclaim came from what she did off the screen this year. In May, she revealed that she’d undergone a preventive double mastectomy in an eloquent op-ed piece in The New York Times titled “My Medical Choice.” In it, she explained that she is genetically predisposed to develop breast cancer — the disease that killed her mother, Marcheline Bertrand, in 2007.

“On April 27, I finished the three months of medical procedures that the mastectomies involved,” she wrote. “During that time I have been able to keep this private and to carry on with my work. But I am writing about it now because I hope that other women can benefit from my experience.”

Jolie was also honored at the Motion Picture Academy’s annual Governors Awards in November with the annual Humanitarian Award for her charitable work around the world.

Loser: Kris Jenner
Her summer talk show, “Kris,” flopped, even after her future son-in-law, Kanye West, appeared on it and showed off the first photo of her newborn granddaughter, North West. Then in October, it was revealed that she and husband Bruce Jenner had separated after 22 years of marriage. On the bright side, at least baby Nori’s arrival means more interest in the Kardashian empire that Kris has built! Can you imagine how lovely Nori’s pay-per-view wedding would be? Well, it doesn’t really matter anyway, because Kim and Kanye both agree that the beautiful baby will not be on reality TV. Another blow for the momager, who would surely like to be a grandmomager one day!


Winner and Loser: Robin Thicke
The smooth-voiced singer had the song of the summer with “Blurred Lines,” according to Billboard and anyone who turned on a radio or TV after it was released in late June. Although the raunchy tune did give Thicke hands-down the biggest hit of his career, it also provoked a lawsuit from the heirs of Marvin Gaye. They claimed that Thicke and the song’s co-writers copied the tune from Gaye’s song “Got to Give It Up.” A month later, in November, the oldest of Gaye’s children, Marvin Gaye III, filed a similar suit that claimed several more copycat songs. Not to mention the fact that when Thicke performed “Blurred Lines” at the MTV VMAs in August, he let Miley Cyrus and her twerking seriously overshadow him.

Winner and Loser: Miley Cyrus
The former “Hannah Montana” star has definitely put her Disney persona in the rearview mirror. The all-grown-up Miley gave us “Can’t Be Tamed” and countless tattoos and piercings, but that didn’t prepare anyone for her controversial, sexed-up and ultimately embarrassing performance at the MTV VMAs in August where she twerked on Robin Thicke and danced around suggestively with a foam finger. Then she and fiancé Liam Hemsworth called off their engagement in September. Still, her new album, “Bangerz,” was a massive hit and fared OK with music critics, even though you know how badly they wanted to pan it! Not surprisingly, Barbara Walters chose Miley as one of the Most Fascinating People of the Year, and spoke with the singer about the break up with Liam, among other things. “I was so scared of ever being alone,” Cyrus dished. “I think, conquering that fear, this year, was actually bigger than any other transition that I had, this entire year.” We can’t wait to see what she has up her sleeve for 2014!


Winner: Kim Kardashian
You might not like her, but you have to admit that the woman knows how to stay in the spotlight. We spent the first half the year gawking at her maternity wardrobe (heels and all!), then waited to get our first glimpse of North West after she and Kanye welcomed their baby on June 15. Then there was Kanye’s elaborate marriage proposal in October. She finalized her divorce with Kris Humphries, got slammed for her acting gig in Tyler Perry’s “Temptation,” dissed Katie Couric, and vowed that Nori would not be featured on her reality show. She dyed her hair blond and whipped her body back into its pre-pregnancy shape, which she showed off in a racy Instagram photo. Audiences were “Keeping Up” the entire time. What do you think she’ll do in 2014?

Loser: Kanye West
It was a rough year for the Kardashian women’s men. Bruce Jenner and Lamar Odom are now flying solo. However, Kanye not only maintained his relationship with Kim, but welcomed their baby, North, and put a ring on Kim’s finger with his surprise proposal. So far, so good. Then there were his incidents with paparazzi. There was his album “Yeezus,” released in June, meriting just two Grammy nominations, which might be enough for some people, but not him, as he told a crowd at one of his concerts. He lost his temper again in September and ranted on Twitter after “Jimmy Kimmel Live” mocked him. He liked the parody that Seth Rogen and James Franco made of his “Bound 2” video with Kim, but still, the guy who considers himself to be a league with Steve Jobs and Michael Jordan, can’t really be happy being a punchline. According to Twitter, Kanye was even booed when showed on the Jumbotron at an L.A. Dodgers baseball game in August. The guy needs some image rehab, stat!


Winner: Justin Timberlake
The singer and actor is still basking in newlywed bliss from his September 2012 nuptials with Jessica Biel, and it’s an understatement to say that his career is going well. The two-part “The 20/20 Experience” was a smash hit and racked up seven Grammy nominations, making him one of the most honored artistes of the year. As if all that weren’t enough, J.T. finished the year off with a performance in the new Coen brothers film “Inside Llewyn Davis,” which is widely expected to be an Oscar contender, and a Golden Globes nomination for a song he performs in the movie, “Please Mr. Kennedy.”

Loser: Justin Bieber
Remember when Bieber was just a cute kid? Those were the days. But in 2013, the 19-year-old “Heartbreaker” singer seemed to go off the rails. The bad year got off to a bad start on New Year’s Day, when photographer was killed in a car accident while trying to snap a photo of the singer (who, it turned out, wasn’t even at the scene). Soon after came Biebs mooning his fans; spitting on his fans; showing up late for his own concerts; abandoning a pet monkey in Germany; peeing in a bucket while ranting about former President Bill Clinton; attacking photographers; annoying neighbors; and visiting a brothel and spraying graffiti in Brazil. Music? Sure, he released some songs, but his day job was completely overshadowed by his offstage shenanigans. On top of it all, he decided to completely devastate his fans by announcing his retirement on Christmas Eve. He tweeted, “My beloved beliebers I’m officially retiring.” While the jury is still out about whether he’ll officially be hanging up his drop-crotch pants, we can’t ‘belieb’ he would joke about that with his loyal followers. Seriously, Justin?


Winner and Loser: Reese Witherspoon
The usually charming actress is one of the last people we expected to see being arrested, much less obnoxiously asking, “Do you know my name?” while being handcuffed. But it happened in April when Witherspoon became indignant while husband Jim Toth was busted for DUI. While the leaked video footage of her playing the celebrity card unquestionably damaged her image as “America’s Sweetheart,” she wisely apologized immediately and redeemed herself during an interview with “Good Morning America.”

“It’s just completely unacceptable and we are so sorry and embarrassed,” she said. “I think we made a mistake and it was something that will absolutely never happen again.”

Fortunately, the Oscar winner’s career fared better in 2013. She filmed her starring role in “Wild,” the movie adaptation that she produced of Cheryl Strayed’s bestselling book, set to come out next year. She also finished up “Inherent Vice,” a crime drama from Paul Thomas Anderson (“Boogie Nights” and “There Will Be Blood”) reteaming her with “Walk the Line” co-star Joaquin Phoenix. As long as she stays out of jail, 2014 could be a big year for Reese!

Winner and Loser: Michael Douglas
The “Fatal Attraction” actor’s year seemed to be going spectacularly well … for a while. He earned rave reviews for his uncanny portrayal of Liberace in HBO’s “Behind the Candelabra” and, more importantly, he remained cancer-free after undergoing treatment for throat cancer in 2010. However, it became clear that things weren’t as rosy as they seemed when it was revealed in August that Douglas and his actress wife of 13 years, Catherine Zeta-Jones, had been living apart for months. Things improved when Douglas won an Emmy for “Liberace” in September, but then he hit another low in October when he revealed that he hadn’t actually been treated for throat cancer (which he previously said was caused by HPV he contracted via oral sex), but tongue cancer. He said doctors urged him to lie because surgery could cause him to lose part of his tongue or jaw. By late October, Douglas was riding high yet again as he and Zeta-Jones rekindled their romance. And all was right with the world again!


Loser: The Jacksons
Michael Jackson’s surviving family members had one tough year. On April 29, the trial began in the lawsuit that the pop icon’s mother, Katherine, brought against concert promoter AEG Live, claiming that the company was responsible for Michael’s 2009 death. On top of that, in June, Michael’s 15-year-old daughter, Paris, was hospitalized for attempting suicide. The teen remained at UCLA Medical Center for more than a month, then moved to a residential treatment facility in Utah, where she reportedly continues to improve. However, the trial didn’t go the Jacksons’ way. On Oct. 2, a jury found that AEG was not responsible for Michael’s death. Katherine isn’t accepting the verdict that, though. She filed a notice of intent to ask for a new trial against AEG just this month.


Winner: Ben Affleck
Mr. Jennifer Garner won his second Oscar in March when “Argo,” which he directed, produced and starred in, was named Best Picture. As exciting as that was, however, it paled in comparison to the August news that Affleck had been cast as the Caped Crusader in the 2015 “Man of Steel” sequel, “Superman vs. Batman.” Many Batman fans dissed the choice, but hey, Affleck still has a lead role in a movie that will surely be box-office gold. And Affleck’s kids obviously support him! In September, 1-year-old son Samuel showed his love for dad with a Batman shirt, and later that month, his youngest daughter, Seraphina, 4, wore a T-shirt with a screen print of her pop’s face. Sounds like Ben is a winner to us!


Winner: Katy Perry
No “Hot N Cold” here! Perry was on fire a year after her divorce from Russell Brand was finalized, giving interviews about how Brand tried to control her and how divorce sent her reaching for the booze and Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. In August, Perry won even more sympathy from the court of public opinion when Brand joked in a stand-up set that during sex with Perry he tried to think of “anyone, anyone else” to stave off the boredom of monogamy. Perry got the last laugh there, however, since she seems to have tamed John Mayer, a lothario who’s romanced the likes of Jennifer Aniston, Taylor Swift, and Jessica Simpson. After the couple briefly broke up in the spring, by the summer they were back together in a big way! Mayer even gave her a shout-out at one of his concerts in July, calling her his “face to call home.” Oh, and then there was her “Prism” album, which you might have heard of …

Loser: Lady Gaga
Perhaps The Wrap captured it best when it snarked, “That ‘Applause’ Gaga is hearing these days has been reduced to a polite golf-clap.” Ouch! The pop star should be riding high about now, coming off a world tour and having released her fourth album, “ARTPOP,” last month. However, in February she was forced to cancel dates on her “Born This Way” world tour after she needed surgery to repair a hip injury caused by strenuous repetitive movements. Her much-hyped album debuted at the top spot on the Billboard charts selling 258,000 copies, but it fell 100,000 copies short of the openings for both Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry’s recent albums. Making matters worse, Gaga’s second-week sales fell by a whopping 82 percent, the largest dive of the year. And the Mother Monster’s Thanksgiving special didn’t get any ratings love either, coming in 78 percent lower than her Thanksgiving special two years ago. Even “Machete Kills,” the Robert Rodriguez sequel she appeared in, bombed. Most importantly, people weren’t talking about her, even though she did her best to get our attention. She pranced onto the American Music Awards red carpet on horseback, but it was Miley who stole the show when she performed “Wrecking Ball” in front of a giant, animated cat. Better luck next year, Gaga!

So did we get it right or were we way off base? Sound off in the comments!

Leave a comment


  1. Ini

     /  December 30, 2013

    kanye might end up worse than lamar


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