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    Walt Shakes

    Walter Ude (@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter. He blogs at mymindsnaps.wordpress.com.

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SISTER. . .II

This is a continuation of the controversial story, ‘Sister’ 🙂 which I once updated. (Read HERE if you missed it). And the writer had returned with a continuation. Enjoy.

*

He will not eat your food for two, three days; sometimes for weeks, depending on who he really is. Do not kill yourself because of that. Continue to beg him. He just wants you to feel sad so that next time you will think twice before scolding him. And please do not stop placing his food on the table. The day you stop, he’ll tell the whole world that you stopped cooking for him because of a minor quarrel. Place it at the same exact spot you used to before the quarrel. I remember the last time I visited, that he liked to sit in the sofa directly facing the television while he ate. Place his food on the table there. Put on the television. He will not touch the food; surely, he won’t. And he will not sit down to watch television. He will most likely change his cloths and walk around the house a bit—play with the children maybe (if he is one of those who don’t quarrel with the children also)—anything to make you notice, and then he’ll pick his car keys and go out. He won’t return until midnight. He might be drunk—their fathers usually are. Not all of them return drunk, mind you. So warm the food you left on the table and place another plate for him there. Use a different plate. He still will not eat the food. But just do it. Beg him. Tell him you’re sorry. Kneel down and beg him. Of course you don’t have to mean it. But make him think you do; men are too stubborn, and if you’re not careful, tomorrow they’ll turn everything around and put the blame on you.

Yes, he was at fault for returning home late at night. But you shouldn’t have scolded him. They hate it when you make them feel like children. Next time, don’t be in a hurry to berate him for returning home late—after all it’s not in his habit to do so. Yes, he returned home late twice or thrice before, but that is nothing even. There are men who sleep outside and their wives haven’t killed themselves over it! So next time, when he returns home late, serve his dinner. Sit beside him, show him quietly that you are unhappy, that you were worried. You know how they loved to be pampered. Tell him that you couldn’t sleep because you were so worried, and that you wouldn’t want to pass through that wahala again. That way, you would have said your mind without seeming to challenge him.

Remember, always remember, that you are the pillar of your home. And now that you have two beautiful children, you mustn’t be seen to err.

Written by Arinze Ifeakandu, @Ary_Ifeakanduwomen-talking-couch-friends_400x295_86

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18 Comments

  1. Evan

     /  January 8, 2014

    “Yes, he was at fault for returning home late at night. But you shouldn’t have scolded him”. Yep, I should have told Times to give him the Man Of The Year award.

    Reply
  2. Ummm can’t agree with all though…. Good presentation

    Reply
  3. Misola

     /  January 8, 2014

    HUH?
    I remember the first part of the write-up, and the part about been cool with his cheating and me giving up my job to please him just didn’t sit well with me. Now after reading this concluding part, i think i finally get what she is saying; the most important “work” we can do as wives is on knees in prayers. “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain” (Psalm 127:1).Only God can truly protect your marriage and your man and errmmmm!!!! lots of paaatiencee too!!!!!!!

    Reply
  4. Maureen

     /  January 8, 2014

    Arinze,the first time u said it was written as a tongue-in-cheek.
    For this “continuation” all I seem to have is bleeeeh !
    Its not a continuation,and can’t connect, they were not written in like manner, tastes like sand and its so bleeeh.
    I know u like to write, I love to read. Please when next u write something that’s not titled “Sister” biko flashiaa m.

    Reply
  5. Sallie

     /  January 8, 2014

    Hian! Biko, what is this dude goin on about? I don’t even have tym to vex

    Reply
  6. Yemie

     /  January 8, 2014

    SISTER…I and SISTER…II: Tales of a ‘Bionic Boogey-Woman’ NEVER made. Nice try, Ary.

    Reply
  7. abolanle

     /  January 8, 2014

    Sister u mite as well have a sign on ur head saying “DOORMAT” and ur marriage wud better 4 it…eeeeeew!

    Reply
  8. Torpedoezz

     /  January 8, 2014

    The posts 1 and 2 were great, I loved the sarcasm; but really, that is the advice given to a whole lotta single ladies by some “experienced” women. I know I’ve heard it plenty enough times, that the woman is expected to make all the sacrifices, after all she’s a woman and the sole responsibility of holding the home together lies with her. The husband is supposed to be pampered and tolerated and the wife should be happy once her husband is happy. Its very unfortunate.

    Reply
    • You’re right. I actually sat through a pep talk an aunt gave her daughter days b4 the girl’s traditional marriage. And it ran pretty much along these lines: be submissive, be submissive, be submissive. So submissive its okay to take all the shit your husband is willing to dump on you.
      Its sad, really.

      Reply
  9. nik

     /  January 9, 2014

    I don’t need to finish this to get angry with the writer. Which one is rewarm d food?

    Reply
  10. nik

     /  January 9, 2014

    That’s just madness. Mtchew

    Reply
  11. Abikoye Oluwatosin

     /  January 9, 2014

    beg and beg and beg…………Sweet Lord, catapult my begging skills so, that i can contritely do that when i don’t mean it and think or know am not at fault, so that i can also do the pampering part when am not happy at all. Help me to pray and overlook. Amen.

    Reply
  12. Kachi

     /  January 9, 2014

    His neck isn’t in the noose yet, hmMmmm….

    Reply
  13. I agree with the “telling him quietly u were worried’ but disagree with a lot of this write up.
    This makes the husband sound like a mini god dat does whatever he wants,it doesn’t sound like a marriage that both of them are putting in 100percent to make it work and as for his cheating,sleepin out and all dat,I imagine its stemming out of the writer’s expectation that men are generally like that,not all men are. And expecting crazy stuff for marriage like that b4 it happens even though it might happen is being pessimistic and accepting sub standard goods.
    And where’s the place of the man acting as a husband hoping to work out his marriage in all this?
    Kai! Something’s just off and off abt this and I am still hoping its sarcasm,as in sarcasm of the highest order…

    Reply

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