Remember Eketi? That delightfully funny friend of mine whose satiric anti-gay post got more than a few laughs here? (Read HERE) Well, she’s at it again. This one is more of an admonition though, than it is geared to amuse. But she hits some very high points. Read and enjoy.
I must have missed the memo that appointed many pastors as professional matchmakers. They now run lucrative matchmaking services in their places of worship, in addition to the work of pastoring. It is appalling to increasingly find men and women, who delegate the task off spouse-finding to their pastors and some who manage to find for themselves are discouraged or turned away from their choices, all in the name of “My pastor said she/he is not the right one for me.”
See, it is an insult to God if you refuse to use the common-sense and intuition He freely gave to you, in addition to the unlimited access to Him.
How can a young man say, “Ma, I loved Sister Choice and I wanted to marry her but my pastor said that he’s looked into the future and that she will bring me heartache; that Sister Alternative is better for me as she’s already a member of our church and a committed worker.” Did you ask that pastor which crystal ball he used to divine your future? Did you go back to God and pray, asking him if this was the right choice for you? No. You go and get married to Sister Alternative and tomorrow, begin to add to the prayer-lists of others and the bank accounts of professional marriage counselors and therapists.
And you woman that has turned down several marriage proposals because your pastor told you that they aren’t truly heaven-bound until he joins your church . . . I truly feel sorry for you. You think it is a coincidence that none of those men worship in your church or that for the life of you, you can’t seem to find any man in your church that you like? Stay there and wait for the pastor’s final say, inugo?
I had a friend whose pastor told her not to marry her fiancé. He told her his brother in the United States was ‘God’s will’ for her. She waited until Mr. Americana showed up. On their first meeting, they sat for an hour together and didn’t exchange more than twenty words. They knew it wouldn’t work and decided to part ways. But did Oga Pastor agree? No. He told them that they needed to try harder. Thank God for my friend who used her brain and high-tailed it out of there.
Whatever happened to the prayer and personally finding out form God, who it is that’s best for you in His will? With convention tags like, “MY FATHER, MY FATHER, WHO STOLE MY WEDDING GOWN?” it is easy to see how far many have fallen in the quest to delegate and surrender their rights and authorities as God’s children.
I was once invited to a program where the ‘minister’ whom we shall call Pastor Prophet (Dr) Preach Sontin, called out phone numbers of spouses. Each ‘revelation session’ went like this: “I’m seeing a number in front of me . . . it’s like 08031 . . . yes, there’s someone here, and your phone number is 08031234567.”
(Here, some woman in the crowd let out an excited scream as she sensed she was about to be ‘visited by the Lord’).
The pastor then continued, “Your future husband’s number is 08023456789. Begin to call that number and contact your spouse!” Many called and hooked up with total strangers, whom they didn’t bother to get to know, because the ‘prophet’ had proclaimed them married by calling out their phone numbers! And the person who invited me dared to say, “Eketi, have faith, he will call your number.” Kai! Person wey for call my number eh, na for State CID e for explain how e take get am!
What am I trying to say? A pastor’s guidance is good, yes. This however does not mean that his word is law and you should abide by ALL he says. This will only lead to you acquiring goat-like qualities and lying outside the church, chewing grass like some church members of a certain Pastor Lesego Daniel did in South Africa some months ago. Or maybe someday (that is if it’s not already happened) people will ask the pastor for when to copulate with their spouses, when to have children, which schools to send them, etc.
You find someone and you like them, by all means, ask God if you should go ahead. He’ll answer. He may speak to you (if you’re in a close relationship with Him, there are ways He must have spoken to you before then. Hear Him for yourself). He may also speak through others, not necessarily your pastor. He always confirms His word. Don’t let someone impose a stranger or someone you don’t like on you.
Your brain is not a vestigial organ; USE IT! The Holy Spirit is not an internal decoration; TALK TO HIM! God is not deaf nor does He need an intermediary; ASK HIM YOURSELF!
This scolding is brought to you by Eketi Ette.