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    Walt Shakes

    Walter Ude (@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter. He blogs at mymindsnaps.wordpress.com.

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I Spy With My All-Seeing Eye: Celebrities Rumored To Be In The Illuminati

Are these celebrities talented, hardworking musicians who earned their spot at the top? Or do they owe their success to being members of a super secret cult? Here are the celebrities rumored to be in the Illuminati. And please note the sarcasm in the commentary.

JAY ZJay-Z1Is Jay a member of the illuminati and is the Roc-A-Fella pyramid proof of membership? Well, he is a time traveler so anything is possible.


Is that the sign for Third Ward Houston, TX? Or the sign of the devil? If Jay’s a member, Bey has to be. How else did “Yonce” top all of those charts?

LADY GAGAGaga1Wait a minute…Gaga isn’t from Houston. But she did say she used Illuminati imagery in one of her shows after having a dream about it…

KANYE WEST: Kanye’s apparently a member too. Well, he is a successful artist and a Roc-A-Fella member. But how can Kanye be an illuminati member and Jesus at the same time?

KENDRICK LAMARKendrick1There’s the pyramid…and an eye! Kendrick’s definitely in.

KESHAKesha1Is that an eye tattooed on Kesha’s hand? That’s no fashion choice, it’s an All-Seeing Eye. We knew there had to be some explanation for the popularity of all that foolishness.

LEBRON JAMES: Jumping that high ain’t nothing but the devil. Illuminatists say that anyone this good at basketball must be a member. Was he spending all that time practicing, or performing secret rituals?

MADONNAMadonna1Is Madonna dressed like She-ra Princess of Power? Or an out and proud illuminati leader on a throne of “occult imagery”? Or, are we missing the bigger picture? That cartoon princes must be a member too…

RIHANNARi1There’s the pyramid. Case closed. And Rihanna isn’t even ashamed. We saw that “fake” “Princess of the Illuminati” in her “S&M”. Mm-hmm…

LIL’ WAYNE: Wayne wore a baseball cap with an inverted cross and pyramid during a 2011 photo shoot for Interview Magazine, which was obviously the moment he declared his membership to the world.

KIM KARDASHIAN: Wait a minute, Kim too? Apparently the rumors started when she started dating Kanye, which seemed like a stretch. But then she posted a photo collage on Instagram in the shape of the All-Seeing Eye and the case was pretty much closed.

JENNIFER HUDSON: And sometimes these rumors feel downright cruel. After Jennifer Hudson’s family members were murdered, folks said that she was a member who earned her place by having her family members killed herself.

WAFEEQ SABIR EL-AMINWafeeq-Sabir-El-AminAnd knowing someone who believes in the illuminati’s power can be downright dangerous. This man was arrested for trying to sacrifice his friend in exchange for an Illuminati rap career.


Leave a comment


  1. Yemie

     /  February 22, 2014

    Dunno what to think again jare. These guys, except that joke of a man named Wafeeq, are all naturally gifted and mighty talented and so If there’s REALLY such an occultic group called ‘illuminati’, then that’s their own cup of tea, it matters none to moi. Let ’em deal with it and knock themselves out while they’re at it! Na dem sabi jor! *shrugs

  2. Nonso Nnajide

     /  February 22, 2014

    *squinting* Is that guy Kendrick though…?

  3. kool

     /  February 22, 2014

    Er, that’s not Kendrick. That’s J. Cole.


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