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    Walt Shakes

    Walter Ude (@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter. He blogs at mymindsnaps.wordpress.com.

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The Things They Say…about Gender Equality

‘I don’t believe in gender equality. I do not believe that God made man and woman to be equal in any way. I believe that in every organised institution, there is always a head and an assistant. It doesn’t mean that one should take the other for granted, or disrespect the other. I believe the husband is the head of the home and the wife is an assistant.

‘My husband is a pilot, I have flown with him several times and I understood that here is a captain and a co-pilot. They are both responsible for the passengers’ lives. But when there is a final decision to make, it is up to the captain to make it. He is more experienced and the one with the responsibility. But any mature captain will not ignore his co-pilot because the co-pilot is not a cabin attendant. He is there for a reason. It just depends on how you understand and play your roles.

‘I believe women should understand this. When a woman starts a struggle for power tussle with him, it tends to cause friction in the home. The woman should give the man the respect as the head of the home and also prove herself as a worthy co-pilot. He needs to see you as a reliable co-pilot.’

When asked in a recent interview with Punch how a woman can have a successful marriage, actress Omotola said she doesn’t believe in gender equality and women should understand that men are the heads of the family. The actress has been married for 18 years, so I think she qualifies to advise other women.celebs 85

She goes on to say:

‘Sometimes, he may not be the one running the house day-to-day, you are the one to take decisions but you have to do it in such a manner that he is comfortable enough to see you as someone he can rely on. When you have a proud and egocentric husband, hand him over to God. If you feel like your life is being threatened, or that of your children, get yourself out of that situation. You owe your children that. Try separation for a while, but before that, you must have tried other things. I do not believe that people should throw in the towel in their marriage at every flimsy excuse. You must have been a diligent wife and tried prayers and intervention. If all those fail, then you can remove yourself from that situation.

‘Also, couples should be friends and communicate. What we call love sometimes fizzles out. True love comes from friendship. When you don’t feel those initial sparks, friendship is what keeps you together, until when the spark comes again.’

Leave a comment


  1. anderson

     /  March 3, 2014

    Wow. This woman is wise. But then of course, I’m a man so…

  2. Sallie

     /  March 3, 2014

    I’m a woman, and I say she’s right! I do not believe in gender equality either.

  3. carsten

     /  March 3, 2014

    I think Gender Equality tends to be more about giving women equal opportunities as a man would be given… not a power tussle as to who’ll head the home. I’m sure Sallie and Omosexy would want that… “I don’t believe in gender equality” is probably not what u wanna say.

  4. Omotola has spoken well. I do not believe in gender equality either. The man is the head of the woman just like Jesus,the head of the man!

  5. Abeg who get nokia small pin charger?

    I believe in gender equality and in my opinion, Omotola is confusing gender equality with marriage administration.
    In marriage, a woman is called to be submissive to her spouse for purposes of administration.
    This is greatly different from gender equality which is concerned with the equality of the sexes vis-a-vis society, job opportunities, education, rights, etc.

    If my boss is a woman, can I say were unequal in gender? No. For the purposes of administration, we aren’t on the same level.
    If my colleague whom we share the same office is a man, does that mean I should submit to him? No, because he’s not my husband; we’re equals in our career qualifications.

    I wish many would differentiate between gender equality, authority in levels of administration and submission in marriage.

  6. carsten

     /  March 3, 2014

    Keti…my point exactly.

  7. Sallie

     /  March 3, 2014

    So, u want her to spell out ‘gender equality in the home’ before u align with what she’s saying? Abi una wan argue just for argument’s sake? She was asked about marriage! Not job opportunity!

    • Sallie, why the attack nah? This isn’t arguing for the sake of argument. I’m saying that gender equality is totally different and has nothing to do with a man being the head in marriage.

  8. anyibaba

     /  March 3, 2014

    I believe in gender equality, the man and woman should have equal roles to play in the bedroom.

  9. nkiru

     /  March 3, 2014

    Its only a foolish woman who will exercise gender equality @ home. In ur home, ur hubby is d head thus, gender equality plays no role in marriage.
    On d oda hand I don’t think its fair to pay a woman less than her male co-worker in d same level just bcos she was born with boobs. Or deny her her promotion for reasons beyong her control. Besides its d same money dat was spent in both male n female education,training etc.
    In dat respect, I totally n 100% surpport gender equality

    • That’s just the thing. I dont think Omotola chose her words well. She may have a different message in mind, but the use of gender in/equality was wrongfully used.

  10. excellency

     /  March 3, 2014

    Deep words, and to be coming from a “celebrity” wife, this is something worth hearing. Way to go OmoTee! More grace to thine household! Marriage is sacred an oath to be hallowed…

  11. Yemie

     /  March 3, 2014

    My Oh My! Omotola’s words are mighty impressive and really worthy of emulation. I have often wondered what ‘mojo’ she employs in her marriage to have been able to successfully pull it off in all of these years, and most especially; in this day and age, and remain ever so grounded too. Wow, gurl, thou art a wise woman who builds up her home! And these sayings right here are so deep and very true. As far as marriages go, the man’s the head, period! No contest! Na God talk am and who are we to argue otherwise? The woman’s an help meet and thus, they both work hand in hand, to achieve the same goals for the greater good of the home. God bless and keep you and your household Omotola, grace multiplied.

  12. Edeeth

     /  March 3, 2014

    Yada yada yada yada!!!

    *yawns….. Turns off the light*

  13. doris

     /  March 3, 2014

    Dnt knw why we are always creating trouble for ourselves.A woman is not equal to a man as a man is also not equal.We are unique in our creation.Simple.

  14. Rare G

     /  March 4, 2014

    She is a wise woman. That’s all I can say. Whether or not she chose her words carefully, she has passed a vital message across.


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