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  • Walt Shakes

    Walt Shakes

    Walter Ude (@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter. He blogs at mymindsnaps.wordpress.com.

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LAGOS DIARIES VIII

I have a horror for Mile 2 and its environs – Festac, Alakija, Maza-Maza, Satellite Town, Okomaiko, all of them. I hear stories about how especially crime-infested these areas are, how unsafe the streets are at odd hours, how decadent their slums are, and how absolutely fearless their hoodlums are. Don’t get me wrong, I know Lagos city is a fearsome beast in its entirety (what urban settlement isn’t?), but the tales I hear about these particular areas are fantastic, about as fantastic as the Oshodi of old (and of new? Who knows).

Anyway, you can imagine my consternation when, for my job training, I was posted to the Maritime House in Apapa. So, okay, I don’t know about Apapa, but its on the side of town that borders mile 2. Plus I had to move from Yaba to Festac Extension in order to reduce the stress and transport fare to the place.

Monday, the day I’d be reporting to work for my training, dawned bright and hot. Even in those wee hours that I was ready and out of the house in order to get to my destination on time, beads of perspiration had already begun to dew my temples and moisten my armpits. Despite my discomfort, as I matched down the road to the bus stop, I kept a sharp lookout for any funny movement. I’d emptied all my pockets of the usual knickknacks you would ordinarily find in them – wallet, change, phones – everything was stowed away in my bag, the strap which I had a deathly grip on.

(more…)

SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING BLUE, SOMETHING BORROWED… (Part 3)

The Tuesday of the following week was a day following other days of sweat and hazy skies. There were no cottony clouds or balmy breezes, only a wall of humidity nearly thick enough to swim in. It was minutes past 5pm, but the evening was just as bright as midday, and Yvonne winced as she stepped out of the air-conditioned interior of her colleague’s car into the stultifying heat of the outside.

“Thanks for the ride, Jide,” she said as she shouldered her bag and turned around to face the man behind the wheel.

“You’re welcome,” Jide said. “We’ll see tomorrow, then.”

“Sure.” She slammed the door shut and the man drove off down the street, away from the junction.

Yvonne started down the bend that led to the close where she lived. A dark-skinned, aquiline-featured woman hugging a fractious baby to her emaciated bosom was seated on a well-worn wrapper spread out on the ground at a corner of the street. A few flies buzzed over her shabbily-clothed figure, and a small, round bundle wrapped in sparse clothing summed up her entire earthly belonging.

“Madam, good ef’nin oo,” she hailed Yvonne, revealing her tobacco-stained dentition in a wide smile. “How work?”

“Fine.” Yvonne began rummaging inside her bag. Ever since Lent started, she’d started the habit of giving the beggarly woman alms every now and then. She fished out a twenty-naira note from her purse and handed it to her.

The money disappeared inside her grubby fist. “Thank ma.” The discoloured teeth were on full display now. “Goh’ go bless you.”

Yvonne nodded, thinking about all the things she wanted God to bless her with. An air-conditioned car, for starters, she thought as she swiped at the line of perspiration that had dewed over her upper lip. Her gait was evidently tired as she approached the gate of her compound.

“Long day, huh?”

(more…)

Goldie’s Twitter Account In Suspicious Activity Following Hacking Fears

Goldie2It seems even in death, Goldie would not be allowed to know peace by unscrupulous elements whose motives are unclear. Over the last couple of days, her Twitter account has been involved in suspicious activity leading to speculations that the account has been hacked.

This begs the question: who would use a deceased’s Twitter account to advertise home videos, music singles or even devastating news?

See tweets below emanating from her handle… (more…)

Pregnant Mom Has Baby’s Face On Her Stomach

babyA Mom-to-be Karen McMartin doesn’t have to wait for a sonogram to get an idea of what her child is going to look like. The pregnant woman can see an outline of her baby on her burgeoning belly. She discovered the print on her tummy when she was just 25-weeks pregnant and some colleagues at her hair salon were making jokes about her protruding belly button.

According to the mother to be: “I was in the staff room on a break. We were actually having a laugh at my belly button sticking out and checking for baby movement. Then Karen who owns the salon came in and said, ‘Oh my God, I can see a face.’ She took a picture and we’ve been showing it to folk ever since.”

(more…)

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