I’ve often wondered about the business relationship that exists between Lagos drivers and conductors and the roadside touts – the agberos.

A bus pulls to a stop at a bus stop, and a group of loud-talking men descend on the vehicle. Their hard faces are slick with sweat, and their fists are clenched over grubby Naira notes. If you lean in just close enough, you may catch a whiff of tobacco as they exclaim, the fumes of marijuana which has them pumped up for roadside action. ‘Owo da!’ They are shouting at the bus conductor, hands outstretched, as though making a demand that they had every right to. The conductor, without any argument, peels out a 50 naira note from the wad in his own hand and gives it to the agbero hand that grabs at it faster. Then the tout will scribble something on the side of the bus with his marker, an endorsement that that vehicle had paid its dues. And the driver is off. Business done.

But then, in comes another bus, with a disagreeable conductor and a short-tempered driver, whose moods are soured by the fact that business has been slow. Not enough passengers. Too much hold-up on the roads. And this idiot is coming to tell them ‘Owo da’. For wetin? There’s an outburst of angry voices. Yoruba expletives are hurled about. Fists are clenched. An altercation is brewing. The agberos audaciously yank at something from the bus. A car seat. A windscreen wiper. Something to get the conductor and driver to behave. Perhaps they do, perhaps they don’t. (more…)